<p class="MsoNormal">At the age of 34, after serving as a missionary for 16 years, I had a conversation with my parents that many dread—I came out as gay. I wrestled with fear, vulnerability, and the overwhelming question: Would they still love me?</p><p class="MsoNormal">Coming out isn’t easy. For many LGBTQ individuals, the hardest people to tell are the ones they love most. It’s not because they doubt your love—it’s because they fear rejection. When I finally shared this part of myself with my mom, her reaction wasn’t what I’d hoped. She feared I was abandoning my faith and rejecting the Bible. Her words hurt, but I came to realize they stemmed from her own fears, not a lack of love.</p><p class="MsoNormal">For parents, hearing that your child is LGBTQ can feel confusing, challenging, and even conflicting with deeply held beliefs. But it’s also a monumental step of trust and vulnerability for your child to share this with you. Whether they’re 16 or 36, this is likely one of the hardest things they’ve ever done.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><b>Let me share what your child needs most from you right now:</b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>1. They Need to Know They’re Safe</i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">The world can be a cruel place for LGBTQ individuals. Many face rejection in churches, schools, and even from strangers. Your child needs to know that their home, and your love, will remain a refuge. Assure them that your love is unconditional, no matter what.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>2. They Need to Belong</i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">Your child isn’t asking for approval of every life decision; they’re asking for love and belonging. They want to know they’re still your child, no matter what.</p><p class="MsoNormal">When my parents invited my boyfriend to dinner, it was an act of love. They didn’t fully understand or approve, but they showed me that I still belonged in their lives. You don’t have to agree on everything, but being present and making room for them shows that your love is greater than your differences.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>3. They Need You to Trust God with Them</i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">As Christian parents, it can feel overwhelming to reconcile your faith with your child’s identity. But your child’s relationship with God is theirs to navigate. Trust that the same Jesus who guides you will also guide them.</p><p class="MsoNormal">I’ve spent years studying theology, but I am often reminded of something simple: Christianity is not about rules, debates, or theology. It’s about relationship. Jesus loves us deeply and unconditionally. Trust that same Jesus to walk with your child and guide them, just as He has guided you.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>4. They Need You to Love Like Jesus</i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">The Bible is a love story, not a weapon. Jesus modeled this love perfectly—He welcomed outcasts, touched the untouchable, and embraced those whom society rejected. He condemned no one except the hypocrites.</p><p class="MsoNormal">If you’re worried about your child’s salvation, remember: Salvation is a gift of grace, not based on works or identity. We are all saved by faith in Christ. Paul teaches that we are saved through faith in Christ (Ephesians 2:8-9). Love your child, pray for them, and trust God to work in their life.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><b>Will My Child Go to Hell?</b></p><p class="MsoNormal">This is the question many parents grapple with when their child comes out as LGBTQ. It’s a question rooted in fear—fear for your child’s eternal destiny, fear of what others might think, and fear of reconciling your faith with this unexpected reality.</p><p class="MsoNormal">But let’s take a step back. Let’s look at the truth of what the Bible says about salvation, grace, and love.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>Faith, Not Works, Saves Us</i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">For most LGBTQ Christians, coming out doesn’t mean abandoning their faith. Often, it’s the opposite. They hold tightly to their belief in God but find themselves stepping away from the Church—not because they’ve lost faith, but because the Church doesn’t feel safe. Imagine being treated as a second-class citizen or enduring veiled homophobic comments from the very people who are supposed to reflect God’s love. This pain drives many away, not from God, but from the places that are supposed to represent Him.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Here’s the good news: Salvation isn’t about where we go on Sunday mornings or about following a list of rules. It’s about faith in Jesus Christ. Over and over, Scripture reminds us that we are saved by grace through faith, not by works (Ephesians 2:8-9).</p><p class="MsoNormal">Paul’s letters emphasize this truth again and again. In his letter to the Galatians, Paul rebukes those who cling to the law as a means of salvation, calling them “bewitched” (Galatians 3:1). Christ fulfilled the law completely—there’s nothing left to accomplish. To say that LGBTQ individuals are condemned simply for their identity is to deny the very grace that Jesus died to offer.</p><p class="MsoNormal">C.S. Lewis said, <i>“He died not for me, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less.”</i> Jesus’ sacrifice was for everyone, including your child.</p><p class="MsoNormal">When we understand this, it becomes clear that blanket statements like “all gay people go to hell” are not only cruel but also biblically inaccurate. Love, not condemnation, is the fulfillment of the law (Romans 13:10).</p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>The Inclusive Love of Jesus</i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">Jesus consistently reached out to those marginalized by society. He loved without judgment and welcomed those others rejected. His love transcends boundaries, fear, and human-made divisions.</p><p class="MsoNormal">If Jesus were here today, would He join in the rejection and condemnation of LGBTQ individuals? Based on His life and ministry, the answer is a resounding no.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>Encourage Their Relationship with Christ</i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">It’s important to understand this: No one is saved by their actions, their church attendance, or their ability to “get it right.” We are all saved by grace through faith in Jesus. This is true for you, for me, and for your child.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Encourage your child to cultivate a personal relationship with Christ. Encourage them to pray, to listen to the Holy Spirit, and to seek God’s will for their lives. Righteousness doesn’t come from following the law; it comes from believing in Him.</p><p class="MsoNormal">The stronger your child’s relationship with Christ, the stronger their faith will be. And just as God is working in your life, trust that He is working in theirs too.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>None of Us Are Perfect</i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">Paul reminds us in Romans 3:23 that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” No one—no pastor, parent, or theologian—is without sin. We all depend on Jesus for salvation.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Your child is no different. Their identity or relationships don’t make them any less loved or less worthy of grace than anyone else. We will all get things wrong in this life, but that doesn’t mean we’re condemned forever. Jesus is our hope, our deliverance, and our salvation.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>What Really Matters</i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">At the core of our faith is this truth: Jesus is God incarnate. He died, was buried, and rose again. Salvation comes through Him alone. Other theological debates—like infant baptism, speaking in tongues, or even same-sex relationships—are secondary. They’re not salvation issues.</p><p class="MsoNormal">For years, I’ve worked across denominational lines with believers who held different views than mine. Despite our differences, we worked together to further Christ’s kingdom because our foundational beliefs were the same.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><b>What does the Bible really say about being gay?</b></p><p class="MsoNormal">Check out the following blogposts that deal with the scriptures the Church often use to "clobber" LGBTQ Christians.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.gay4jesus.co.za/post/66f2f945fd8bd4ac95dcf6a8" target="_blank">Clobber Passages - 1 Corinthians and 1 Timothy</a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.gay4jesus.co.za/post/6592979dd9c54087f903fede" target="_blank">Clobber Passages - Romans 1</a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.gay4jesus.co.za/post/65929717d9c54087f903fed4" target="_blank">Clobber Passages - Sodom and Gomorrah</a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.gay4jesus.co.za/post/65575f2a22f21b7d92f38296" target="_blank">Clobber Passages - The Law (Leviticus)</a></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><i>A Final Word</i></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">I won’t pretend it’s easy. It’s not easy for you as a parent, just as it wasn’t easy for me to tell my parents. But the pain, fear, and confusion you feel now will never outweigh the importance of your love for your child. They don’t need lectures or debates—they need your hugs, your encouragement, and your support.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Sexual attraction isn’t a choice. If it were, do you think your child would choose a life filled with uphill battles and rejection? Many LGBTQ individuals have considered or attempted suicide, especially in Christian communities where they feel like second-class citizens. This is a heartbreaking reality, but you have the power to change that narrative—for your child and others.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Micah 6:8 reminds us: “What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” This is the call for all of us, as parents, Christians, and humans.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Parents, love your child fiercely. Be their safe place, their constant. Let them know they are seen, valued, and wholly loved—not despite who they are, but because of who they are.</p><p class="MsoNormal">So, will your child go to hell? The answer isn’t found in fear or condemnation but in the promise of grace.</p><p class="MsoNormal">Your child is navigating a world that can be harsh and unforgiving. What they need from you is unconditional love, a sense of belonging, and the assurance that nothing—nothing—can separate them from your love or God’s (Romans 8:38-39).</p><p class="MsoNormal">Leave the judging to Christ. Love your child, encourage their relationship with God, and rest in the truth that His grace is sufficient for all of us.</p><p class="MsoNormal">With love and hope,…</p><div><br></div>
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